Change

This is something I've been planning to do for such a long time already but too scared to implement --- change.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one right? Although change is the only constant thing in this world, it is often times denied by most people. They're either scared of the outcome or scared of what other people may think of them.

But.. To hell with what other people think! If you want to change, change! Change your appearance, change your attitude, change the cereal you eat in the morning, the type of clothing you wear, even the smallest thing such as your route home.

Change is good. Change gives you new experiences. Change is something we never thought would make us happy. I've been giving this some thought for the past few days and now, i'm finally willing to try it.

Get a haircut, dye your hair, try that different shade of nail polish you've been scared of, maybe even considering changing your room wallpaper. No matter what kind of change, as long as it is a good one. Do it. Stick with it. It'll make you feel better as a person in the long run.

Faith, Hope, and Satisfaction

I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is disappointment. All these flaws, these imperfections.. I hate them. So much. I feel like removing my face and replacing it with someone else's.. Maybe by then, people would notice me more often. Maybe by then, they'd finally give me a second look. Maybe, just maybe, they'd finally give me a chance because I feel like I'd finally be worth it.

I see my friends-I'd look at them and think to myself; "Wow, they're so lucky." They may not be perfect but I'd die trying to trade places with them. Maybe then, life would be easier. They are admired by so many people. Most of them are even in relationships right now. I'm jealous. I am constantly reminded of how I am unfit for anyone because of how lonely I'd feel. I pity me. I pity myself so much.

I often ask myself stuff like "Why don't people ever like me?" "Why am I cursed with this face?" "Why doesn't anybody fall for me? I get lonely too." "Am I really that bad?" But then I realized something - no one will ever be able to love me unless I am able to love myself first. Maybe that's the first thing I should fix.

But I couldn't.

I can't.

We live in a world where people are being judged first by the way they look. This is why people like me feel this way. This is why people like me feel like crawling under a rock, never to come out.

I can never imagine anyone being satisfied with me because I myself am not satisfied. I'm unhappy. And I don't think I'll ever be able to become otherwise.

I'm still hoping to get there someday, though.

I guess this is where faith and hope comes in. It's something that I'll never lose and, to the people out there who feels the same, you shouldn't too.